TV Presenter Accused of Sorcery, Sentenced to Death in Saudi Arabia

In a story to make your blood boil, a Lebanese man named Ali Hussain Sibat is being sentenced to death in Saudi Arabia.
His crime?
Sorcery.
The father of five is a television personalty who is accused of performing black magic on his show.
He was in Saudi Arabia to make Umra, a traditional muslim pilgrimage, when he was arrested by the countries religious police, the Mutawa'een.
His trail has been dragging on for some time, but now that a verdict has been reached it's receiving global attention.
Here's to hoping he gets set free, or at the very least, they stay his execution until someone can talk so sense into their legal system.

Bank Robbing Leprechauns killed in Tenneessee

Two Leprechauns- or should I say, men in leprechaun costumes- were shot and killed in a gun battle with police on Wednesday, March 18th, in Tennessee.
The men were heavily armed, fled the bank they had just held up, shot at and disabled a police car, and then were killed in the ensuing shootout that followed- details are a little scarce at the moment as this has only just happened, but that's the story right now.
I have to say, one wonders what went the mind of these men as they planned their course of action. Did they think they'd blend better by dressing up for the holidays? Were they planning to walk out the bank disappear into a passing parade?
I like to think the leprechaun bank robbers were already at a party, profusely drunk, and realized they needed more money for beer, and hatched probably the worst plan of all time.

Vampire from Florida to run for president in 2012...as a Republican.

Photo courtesy of Myspace

In what is probably the least serious bid for the presidency ever, a Florida man who identities himself as a vampire and has had numerous, and probably slightly illegal, relationships with teen girls, is running for president.

His name is Jonathan Sharkey, better known as Jonathan 'The Impaler' Sharkey. He's 45, dating a 19 year-old (whose friends have made a facebook group trying to raise support to save her from this man) and is, according to CBS, currently on probation after being found guilty of trying to intimidate a federal judge.

He has run for president before, as well as numerous senate and congressional seats. Obviously, none of those have quite panned out. I wonder why?

He has a website, and is actually making a documentary about his experience running for president. If he hadn't shown political ambition all his life, one would perhaps think it was just a big publicity stunt.

Man Attacks Female Police Officer...With His Penis

Yep, you read that right.
A Lithuanian Man living in England, Marium Varinaukas, was drinking heavily in his home, when cops arrived and burst in.
Apparently, he decided to come out swinging.
The article goes on to say that the female officer literally had to duck and dodge to not get impaled.
Check out this choice quote from the BBC, on what he is being charged with:

"The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

His defense is essentially that he was binge drinking and doesn't remember any of it.
That takes some balls. And is also probably pretty hard to live down.

Thailand's Bloody Protest

Tensions have been growing in Thailand lately, after a week-long slew of marches and demonstrations to call for new elections as people grow increasingly fed up with Prime Minister Abhisit Vejajjiva's corrupt and dirty rule.

Today those tensions came to a head, as protesters collected what they claim as nearly 80 gallons of blood from activists, and hurled them at Abhisit's house and other governmental offices.

There is very little talk of any of the protests being met with violence yet, though with the amount of publicity and global coverage that has been following this event since protesters first announced the desire to throw blood everywhere, that is to be expected. 

Crackdowns will probably come later.

I have to say, this sends a pretty intense message, even if the government was prepared and cleaned the blood up within minutes. Certainly nobody can doubt the resolve of Thailand's popular opposition now.

The BBC has pics up on its website.

Swedens Dangerous Cake Theives

The Pastry Chefs and Confectionery Masters of Sweden are trembling over the antics of the 'Black Cobra Gang,' a hard-as-nails band of criminals who, on the 12th of March, stole as many as 120 cakes from a delivery truck.
Hopefully they can find the culprits and bring them to custardy. I mean, theft is no trifling matter. What kind of a monster would steal so many cookies?
Actually, far better then any pun I could think or have heard is the quotes from the actual police, who had this to say:

"We have conducted raids at a number of addresses and have confiscated cakes," police spokesperson Charley Nilsson told local newspaper Helsingborgs Dagblad. 

Ah, Sweden.

Womans attempts to become worlds fattest; pays for food by eating via webcam

The headline pretty much says it all.
Donna Simpson, from New Jersey, is actively trying to not only gain weight, but become the fattest person in the world.
According to the Daily Mail, she already holds the 'title' of worlds fattest mother, having given birth while weighing over 531 pounds.
I can't help but feel a bit sorry for the kid, if these are the sorts of dreams her mother aspires to.
Simpson told the Daily Mail:

"I'd love to be 1000lb ... it might be hard though, running after my daughter keeps my weight down," 

She plans to reach 1000 pounds in two years. Nothing in the article, nor anything Ms. Simpson was quoted as saying, seems to indicate she's worried she might die in the attempt. Or shortly after.
The best part of the article, however, comes near the end, when you learn how Simpson pays her nearly thousand dollar weekly grocery bill. She runs a website where people watch her eating food.
I'm not making this up- here's the quote:

Ms Simpson makes money by running a website where men pay to watch her consume fast food.  

I guess I forgot the first rule of the internet- there is a fetish for everything.
When I consider some of the other things I have seen, this doesn't even sound that weird.

The Woman with Two Vaginas- Blanche Dumas (NSFW)

In 1885, on the french colonial island of Martinique, documentarians of the odd and bizarre found Blanche Dumas- a 25-year old woman with three legs, two of which of were only partially useful and one that was completely useless, two vaginas, and a monstrous sex appetite. Already known on the island for entertaining multiple lovers simultaneous, she eventually moved to Paris and became a high-class courtesan.
What exactly occurred to her in utero to produce such a condition isn't certain, though if you look around the net you'll find some pretty accurate speculation, but beyond simply having duel vaginas, she also had two fully functioning bladders and according to some websites, two uteruses as well.
Which begs the question of what, exactly, occurred when she was on her period.

Note the nipples painted tackily on what appear to be stumps of ungrown legs on her lower left thigh. I guess that's the circus for yeah.
Probably the most enduring part of Blanche's legacy is her rumored affair with the man with two penises, Juan Baptista Dos Santos. Though there is no hard evidence that such an event took place, Blanche reportedly expressed an desire to have sex with him upon learning of his existence, and both were in Paris at the same time.
I mean, really, if you were either of them, how could you not?
I will say this, however: I do not look at that picture and have even the remotest desire to sleep with her. Perhaps I'm alone among male kind in that regard...but I really hope not.
Still, I can quite easily picture her on her back, two fully-clothed Victorian men pumping away, high-fiveing each other and shouting 'Good show, old boy.'
Shudder.

The Man With Two Penises - Juan Baptista Dos Santos (NSFW)

Born in Portugal in 1843, Juan Baptista Dos Santos was born with two penises, three legs, and three scrotums. Probably most bizare is that everything worked- this wasn't some sort of mutant freak man with useless dangling appendages, but just a guy with a little extra of everything.
Well, that's not totally true. The leg didn't work- but it was so small and boneless that it could easily be concealed by strapping to one of his regular legs.
Everyone was far more interested in his multiplicity of male parts to pay any attention to that anyway.
What exactly Juan Baptista did with his life is not exactly clear. He refused to be a sideshow attraction- reportedly turning down several huge sums of money to appear in circuses around the world- but was very gracious with his time in medical circles and exhibiting himself to royalty and those with sufficient means.
The one photograph of him that remains was taken by a man named C. D. Fredericks, who wrote along with it :

"...the sight of a female is sufficient to excite his amorous propensities. He functionates with both of the penes, finishing with one, then continues with the other."

Here's the picture:

Strangely, Juan Baptista came of age and fame at the same time France was home to one Blanche Dumas, a courtesan with two vaginas. Everyone speculates that they had an affair when Baptista spent some time in Paris...I'd like to believe that happened.
I mean seriously, if you were either of them, how could you pass that up?
Probably the only two-person orgy in the history of the world.

Stop Smoking

I've started a new blog, http://youcanneversmokeagain.blogspot.com/, about how to stop smoking.
If you're trying to quit and having trouble, go there and read my story- maybe it'll help you quit, or at least, guide you to some methods that might work for you.
Here's the link.
And.
Here is the link about me.
And here is where I discuss how I quit, in detail.

Yep, that's it.